Dealing With Bullies
Posted: January 15, 2019
I trust this blog finds you well.
There are plenty of effective ways to prevent a bullying situation from getting worse.
We encourage children to avoid a physical confrontation if it is possible.
In addition, we believe that children and adults should have the skills to protect themselves if an encounter escalates and becomes physical.
Here is an example of what I teach my daughter:
Me: Okay Karina, one more time. What do you do to the bully's arm when he tries to hurt you?
Karina: I snap it like a twig. Then I tell the teacher to call the nurse.
Me: Good girl. Then what?
Karina: Then he gets a cast and I get a few days off from school.
Karina: I don't get picked on and hopefully he stops being a bully. We might even become friends.
Me: I love you!
Karina: I love you, too!
Me: Many people want you to believe that you are helpless. They want to convince you that you are incapable of solving your own problems.
Me: Because they think most people are like sheep.
Karina: Not me, I am not a sheep!
Me: I know. If you are bullied, or if another kid tries to hurt you, I want you to deal with it. You are not helpless. You are not a damsel in distress.
Karina: I know.
Me: Once upon a time, kids actually had fist fights. Problems were settled, and more often than not, friendships were formed. Somewhere along the line, a well meaning group of imbeciles decided that "violence" would not be tolerated. The "experts" decided that fighting back was against the rules.
Karina: How come?
Me: Because the same experts who want to tranquilize children for playing and being physically active, seem to think it is abnormal for children to defend themselves.
Karina: That's silly.
Me: You're right. I believe that kids who develop self-confidence, learn to assert themselves, and handle conflicts with their peers, are not as likely to flip their lids.
Karina: What does that mean?
Me: It means that helplessness leads to sadness, anger, and eventually rage. When a helpless person experiences rage, they often commit incredible violence. We see it happening more and more.
Karina: Daddy, can we go outside and climb a tree, before it is against the rules?
Karina: I love you, daddy.
Me: I love you, too!
I cannot in good conscience, delegate the destiny of my daughter’s personal safety to people who forbid her from defending herself.
It is unreasonable to expect protection from those who are incapable of protecting themselves.
I look forward to seeing you in class at the Dojo!
Kyoshi Thomas Clifford